The Cute "W" (the other one!)

"Some of our presidents themselves were skilled musicians," he said. "Some were not. As a matter of fact, after The Temptations came here a couple of months ago, I was so inspired that I thought I would take up singing. Laura said, you might just stick with practicing your speaking."

--GWB today, at a thingie for black music month.

black music month....Now, I sometimes watch the MTV and the kids and their hip-hop and the snoop dog; not to mention the white kids with their pants hovering just north of dixieland--and I have to say, isn't every month black music month? Why is their even a BET? (music aside, it could be affirmative action for comedy--everyone knows that Jews are way over-represented in comedy...no, no homie, that's "quota" not "quarter!" [howard stern, there])

Seriously, tho, I've always heard that jazz and hip-hop are the only truly original American forms of music (altho anything with a washboard involved should probably be included too), so shouldn't it just be American music month? Or would that somehow give license for everyone in country music and NASCAR to start referring to each other as "nigga?" I know, it's a stretch, but I write with an eye towards the future--

which is probably why I got a f-ing ticket yesterday for not seeing, and therefore yielding to, a pedestrian in a crosswalk: The future was all up in my grille! Cop asked me, "were you distracted by anything, sir?" Channeling King Solomon, I quickly decided against, the first immediately occurring rejoinders: 1) the timeless, "My gun jammed," and 2) the haughty, "That's Sire, not Sir... Sir." After weighing my options, I settled on: "No--yes--well, he was super-cute--the guy in the crosswalk-- but I didn't want him to like think that I, like, liked him, so I had to keep driving... YOU know what I mean, Thir" [wink, wink].

Apparently, Mountain View is not as gay friendly as other parts of the bay area. Perhaps the officer was confused by the juxtaposition of rainbow and NRA bumper stickers adorning my back window. I certainly misread his thick, luxurious mustache...

Still, he shoulda got it--I mean we all know that only fags drive corollas. Moreover, you'd totally have to be gay refer to anything adorning anything. Crap, now I'm totally out of the closet and veering into the bicycle lane! (because that's where all the 'mos are: The bi-cycle lane. get it? Bi-cycle. Is this thing on?)